Road trips
Conner eyed the bike in front of him, tilting his head a little bit and biting his bottom lip. It would be one hell of a ride – two days’ worth, at least. And that was riding all the way through. He could manage it, but he’d have to stop to hunt at least once. That would be a painful trip. But, thinking about it, it was something that he wanted to do. Sometimes anything would be worth a little bit of pain.
He sighed softly, running his hand over the handlebar of the Harley, frowning just a little bit. All this running… But you’re not, he reminded himself. You’re not running away this time, you’re just…getting closure. That thought made him laugh; there would never be closure, he knew. No matter who and how much he loved, Caleb had been the one that he’d been confident he could live forever with, and that would never go away.
No matter how close he felt to Cas or Robin or anyone else, Caleb would always linger. But maybe that’s what this was about. He had been lingering far too long – had brought up so many what-if’s and curiosities. If Caleb was still alive, if he was any different – if he even existed in this universe. He shouldn’t mess with things like this – he knew that. He knew that he needed to avoid anywhere he had been or could be, but… he couldn’t find it in himself to turn away from this plan. He just had to be sure.
He turned away from the bike and headed back inside, making sure that the garage was closed before he did. He looked around the house for a long moment, biting his lip. Even months later, it felt odd to be here without the house’s true owner. He wondered absently what had happened to Zack that kept him away for so long. He missed his friend, but finally had come to the conclusion that the best thing he could do was care for the house, make sure it stayed in one piece, to be here in case the Angel returned and needed him, and otherwise to move on with his life.
And such a good job of that he was doing.
Conner shook that thought away with a soft sigh. He was trying to move on – from Zack, from Michael, and most of all Caleb. But that was proving difficult. He wandered into the kitchen, looking around for a pen and some paper. After finding them, he leaned on the counter and set each in front of him, sighing for a moment. Five different pieces of paper. He pulled one off the pile and set it in front of him, picking up the pen.
Cas,
I’m going away for a couple of days. Don’t worry, I promise I fully intend to come back, but there are a few things I need to do for myself, or I’m going to always be a mess. I’ll have my phone on, and you can call or text me if you need me or anything. We should do something when I come back. I should only be gone for three or four days at most. If you need me, I’ll try to be a little quicker.
Yours, Conner.
Nia,
Hey, love. I hope everything is going well – I heard that your brother was born. That’s fantastic. Maybe I can meet him sometime? I’m going away for a few days, but I’ll have my phone on at all times and charged if you want to call. Well wishes to you and your family.
Conner
Miranda,
I have to thank you. I think I would have starved myself if you hadn’t found me and forced me to eat. That was…rather emasculating, by the way. But still, I owe you one. I’m only leaving this instead of saying it, because I have my strength now, I’m… going on a trip. I’ll be back within a week, probably less. Call if you need, though I doubt you will – you’re capable enough of taking care of yourself, I don’t see you needing anyone.
Thank you, again. Conner
Robin,
I’m taking a short trip, and thought I should tell you. I won’t be gone long, and when I get back I’m going to think of something to thank you for your surprise, because I want to. I’ll have my phone on if you want me. See you in a few days, love.
Conner
He stared for a long moment at the four notes, folded neatly in front of him now. He felt like he should tell others – which, technically, was what the last piece of paper was for. But he felt like he may be missing someone. But he didn’t have time to go around to too many houses – and he didn’t even know if he could get to all of them. He sighed, writing the last note a little more hurriedly.
Gone for a few days. I will be back in no more than a week. I will have my phone on at all times, if I’m needed. Call if whatever you’re here for is important, or come find me when I get back.
-Conner.
He sighed again and scribbled his phone number at the bottom of each note (adding on the ‘general’ note: Please TEXT me before you call and tell me who you are. I will not answer any unknown number calls unless you get lucky and I’m too tired to look.)
He pushed himself off the counter and headed for the door, grabbing a small roll of tape before walking outside. He decided he would walk to ‘deliver’ each of the notes, rather than drive. This gave him more time to prep himself for what he might or might not find on this little trip of his. He stopped at each of his friends’ houses, taping the folded notes to doors and pausing at each door, as though trying to talk himself out of this. A feat he could not accomplish, it would seem.
After dropping of each note, he walked home at a quicker pace. He packed a small backpack full of clothes, locked up the house, and grabbed the key to his bike. With one last glance back at the house, giving him one last chance to change his mind, Conner took off down the road.
